Colour

The flowers here never cease to amaze moi. It appears to be rose season, well, that and weird and wonderful season. Some flowers here make me want to sing "undah-tha-sea..." I remember, as a kid, being amazed at the big leaves and pine cones my cousin from BC collected and gave to me, along with seashells you could "hear the ocean in". Apparently flowers are huge here, too.

To be honest, I haven't been outside too much lately. Today I did get dressed, but quickly changed back into more comfortable sweats and literally sat on the couch for hours doing homework. Then, I got a bit of energy, did some rebounding, and started my paper-mapping --> this weird new way that I write papers. I make the planning process kind of like an art project, and use mr. sketch smelly markers, etc.

Also, I've gotten the chance to do some art work, because of the self-study art therapy modules I'm working on right now. I love it to pieces, and am especially reminded of how I need and want to increase my art-making skills. Even though being an art therapist is not about helping people make a perfect product, it is still necessary for me to have some artistic skills. The willingness and adventure: I already possess. The discipline and skills: I need to work on. Okay, time to get back to school, I suppose.

Food and Weather

What a good day. I did not get near enough done, but enjoyed myself anyways. It was one of those days where it was really hard to pull myself back inside when I took Ares out. And TJ and I sat on the beach for a while later, too. I'm gonna try and get more organized when it comes to eating well. TJ and I have decided to try each making one meal per week - and making that meal a healthy and cheap one, doubled or tripled to allow for leftovers. It was a kind of sultry day. The air was thick and salty, heavy with ocean and atmosphere, so tonight I made Baltimorean Beans and Rice. It was a recipe I found at this website, where the author has listed five variations on the basic rice and beans dish. So good! And we had a Natty Boh style beer, to boot!

Also, muffins are one of my favorite breakfast foods. It is my guilty pleasure to grab a muffin and a coffee from McDonald's in the mornings. So, tonight I made some breakfast muffins. Oatmeal banana. Pretty good recipe. I threw in some coconut, too.

Wha, wha, what

What if the antagonists in our lives are written in - by ourselves or our Higher Power - and part of the plot? What if we can never move on to the next chapter or series of stories until we first conquer these arch enemies that we continue to meet, who appear like clock-work in certain familiar forms?

What if life's meaning can be found in the ways we face our most feared and/or little monsters? What if the voids and lags we experience are merely results of walking under our own clouds, cloaked in sweet ignorance and blame and needless mashing and confusing of thoughts?

What if everything is simpler than we admit?

Space

Lately my life has become very busy and I have started to feel overwhelmed almost all the time. I've been doing a lot of mental sorting these past few days. What I've found is that some things have been getting dusty (my creative life, my social life, my self care) and other areas have been getting over used (work, school, brain). All in all, it's icky and the end result is me in a pile of jumbled nerves every night.

I was just doing some navel gazing, and reading my other blog choose to engage. At the risk of sounding totally and completely narcissistic, I liked what I wrote on that blog. And I got a sort of peaceful feeling reading it. I love creative writing, and I love the sense of space I had.

Although I have only been using this blog (Lemon Life) as a happy, cheery, "fluff" bog, it's not that my life is always fluff. I don't think there's anything wrong with writing a "fluff" blog, but it's starting to feel not as genuine as it could be, either. So anyways, what am I saying?

Maybe I want to do some more creative writing in blog form again.
Also, I think I will be making some changes in my life again. I don't want another two years of feeling overwhelmed. It' unhealthy.
Also, I still like pies and sunshine and flowers and beach walks and home made soup.

If you are reading, hope you have a week with a little loveliness in it.