Slow

I was thinking how I kind of miss our little house tonight. Life is funny. This has been a year of so much change. I'm no stranger to moving in my life. I had a conversation yesterday that reminded me about attachment to stuff. I was so attached to our little house. Although I miss it tonight, it's actually a relief that we don't own a house anymore. I think what I really miss is just the feeling of familiarity. Actually, what I really miss is having the people in the space. But I can't do it on my own. I need other people. Slowly, slowly I am creeping out of my shell here. Slowly, I will create a life here, not just on-line, but with real people. Hopefully someday our living room and kitchen will be places of community again.

Things

Last week we went to St. Andrews-Wesley United church. I liked it. Besides it being a beautiful building, I liked what the reverend had to say. I liked the choir. I liked the readings. Tomorrow we're going to "Jazz Vespers" there in the afternoon. I hope to take in part of the Chinese New Year's parade in Chinatown, too.

It's been colder here than normal. I worked all week, which was good, but tiring, too. This weekend I am enjoying being at home, doing schoolwork, crocheting, cooking. Maybe even recording. This may sound like a strange choice, but I think I'm gonna make a raisin pie tomorrow. I know I've had raisin pie in the past and liked it. I found another recipe on allrecipes.com that looks perfect. Or there's the raisin pie recipe in my gramma's recipe box, too.

Ah, decisions, decisions. Ta ta.

Banana Cream Dream

Last week's pie was banana cream. I opted out of the pear ginger, maybe someday. We got to share the banana cream pie with Pascal and Becky, too...so that was nice!

For the crust, I used the recipe in the kitchen-aid book and my kitchen-aid, and I also used pastry flour because that was all I had. It turned out not bad, heavier than the crisco recipe, but everyone said it suited the banana cream pie.


I used this old-fashioned recipe from allrecipes.com, and after reading the reviews was paranoid that the pudding wouldn't set, but it all worked out (I used mostly 2% milk with a small portion whipping cream). I topped it with whipped cream. There really is something about making pies that is just so fun for me.

Culture/Process

These are some of my (somewhat random) thoughts. I am currently immersed (in my brain) in a sea of culture-related readings and schoolwork.

1. I went for a walk today and looked around at my neat and tidy neighbourhood. In light of all the unearned white privilege I have in my life, I had a different perspective. I looked up the road, up the hill and wondered what this land looked like before there were houses here, before it was neat and tidy. I've been reading up a bit on the history of Vancouver, and it's pretty interesting.

I notice how the land always starts to take over. In all those futuristic movies and novels about the end of the world, you often see things just overgrown, like the land taking itself back. I notice this when weeds grow between sidewalk cracks, and when concrete breaks up and plants take over before we can snatch them up. Things disintegrate back into the earth if we don't watch. The land still dictates my culture.

2. How do I shine out in who I am, how do I celebrate my own culture, while at the same time acknowledging the history of my culture, the white privileges I have, and instead of taking things for granted, how do I advocate for social change and use my privilege for good? These things are on my mind. I need to get out of my comfort zone, again. Good intentions are not enough. I need to really step out into the light in order to burn and blaze out who I am in a way that can make a difference...and be changed in the process.

Pieland

I loved that show "Pushing Daisies" and the movie "The Waitress"...mainly for the pies.

So, I made my second apple pie, which was not as good as my first. I used different apples which were not as tart, and the crust was more chewy or something. Anyway, I finally took some time to really browse through my gramma's old recipe box. And I found some good pie recipes I will have to try (although I don't think any of them are her signature apple pie recipe).

Looking through the recipe box made me feel grateful for my grandparents and the time I got with them to learn about their way of life when they were younger. I wish I had taken more time to make perogies and cabbage rolls with gramma. I tried making Ukrainian style cabbage rolls once by myself, but they just fell apart!

Anyway, I've decided to start making a pie a week. This Sunday I think I'm gonna try a pear/ginger pie. We shall see!

Holidays

Going back to Alberta was good. It was kind of bittersweet coming home. I like it here, and I like my life, but I miss all the people there. Some of our friends even a had a little surprise gathering, which was special. And I already miss my nephew so much!!

The roads were not the best, and TJ drove basically the whole way, while I knitted nervously. Oh, and we listened to the book "The Fountainhead".

There was snow in Camrose, but not much in Edmonton, and so it didn't feel that Christmassy. TJ, Beth, and I had fun dressing up Lori's condo on Christmas eve.

We ended up having to split up the drive into two days, both ways, so that we could drive the roads in daylight. We stayed in Kamloops on the way to Alberta, and in Jasper on the way home, and it was really nice!

Being back here, we were surprised to see these flowers out yesterday on a walk. This is a really random post. I should get to bed, I'm working this week, plus my class is starting, too. Ciao.

Domestic Obsessions

Well, it's January 1, 2012. Yup.

I always like New Year's. I always like making new year's resolutions.

I made a New Year's dinner of bison roast from Myra, yorkshire puddings, and potatoes with carrots and parsnips....and then an apple pie, which was very much fun for me to make. I had made a pie once before, but it was sugar-free and with a whole wheat crust...not quite the same.

Tonight was my first time making a real apple pie by myself. It was just a recipe from allrecipes.com, and turned out a tad on the sweet side, but the crust turned out good (I used the crisco recipe from the box). Not as good as gramma's, but fun to do. It's weird how you don't put any liquid in, but it ends up getting all juicy just from the mix of sugar and apples bubbling. One of my favourite things about making the pie is my memories of gramma's pies. I remember helping her peel and cut up apples, crimping edges, and cutting holes and designs in the pie. It's something I want to keep doing.

I got some crochet hooks for Xmas, too. And I LOVE it! It's so much faster than knitting. I can't wait to start a real project, as on the drive home I just practiced my stitches, making an unusable flap....anyone know any super-easy patterns?

Maybe it's the comfort of it, but I am finding myself drawn to things like being in my kitchen, cooking things up, making the house smell good. Or of sitting, calmly, with my knitting, and tea. There is certainly something inviting, some very, very sweet element to feeling cozy, content, and using my hands to make things. It's like a pause, a time to stop fretting about past and future, and time to be grateful for all that I have. I wrote this poem once, which kinds of sums up how I feel right now:

yes.

in the clearing

in the morning

is where i find myself

never you mind,

she says, her hands dusted with flour

and tanned from the sun

never you mind where you came from,

'cause today is the only thing that you know

and you're in it

and that is all.