Leaving Room For Life

I'm listening to "The Wilderness of Manitoba" album When You Left the Fire. In between songs you can hear a fire crackling, and that sound is one of my favourite things. A fire crackling represents quiet moments of staring off into the flames, being huddled up in a blanket, maybe reading, or just visiting. Basically, relaxing.

I want to leave room for life in my life. Moving to a new city and province is a chance at a fresh slate. I am a person that somehow always finds herself busy and over-committed. Now, before I commit to anything I hope to measure it to see if it fits with my values. If what I am filling my life with does not fit with my values, then it just doesn't fit in my life. An example is that I spent so much time working on our little house in Edmonton (even just trying to keep it clean), when owning a house and having more rooms and space than you can use is not something I value. And so, I let that time on the house eat into my life in too many ways. You truly do live and learn, though.

Yesterday morning TJ and I picked some blackberries on the beach. It was a perfect moment - we even had the beach to ourselves for a little while, and Ares had a good little run.

I want room for moments like those. I want time to say "okay, sure, let's have a picnic" or "let's go for a bike ride". I know that, of course, life is not all picnics and bike rides and picking wild fruit in your neighborhood, buuuttt..........when those moments come up, I want to be ready for them, instead of being so bogged down in things I "need to do" that I don't notice the opportunities.

I have applied for several jobs that are "casual, on-call" positions. I hesitate about it, because being on call makes it hard to plan or commit to things. But now, if I do get an on-call position, I am thinking it may be a good thing for me....it won't let me stuff too many commitments into my life, and may leave room for the open moments and spaces that is life.