Messy

I go for minor surgery tomorrow. I can't eat past midnight tonight, so here it is 11:08 and I am stuffing my face. I was thinking about life and how it is messy. The other night, TJ made shrimp gumbo and I made some crunchy drop biscuits to go along. I felt so happy just being there and I looked around and everything in the house was a mess - unwashed dishes, stuff all over. And I thought, life is best when I am relaxed and I can just let things be messy. One thing I struggle with is trying to have everything so clean and tidy before we have anybody over. Really, I would rather have a messy house and enjoy my life and my family and friends visiting, than have a perfectly spotless place and just be all anxious and exhausted by the time people get to my place. Mind you, there is a difference between allowing things to be messy and being disgusting. Life is like that, too. I am back taking my classes (had a few weeks break). Tonight I was reading and writing about knowing that it is healthy to be less than perfect. It is healthy to strive, yes, but also to be content in the middle of the striving, too. Some things, I am powerless to change about myself. Other things, I can work on. Sorting out what is what takes a lifetime. And that is okay. That is good. Maybe I am being cryptic here...not that I'm trying to, it's just how it's coming out tonight. Let it be what it is.